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This fundraiser ended on 01/01/13

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Since losing our baby at 34 weeks we have been devastated. Due to complications, a new surrogacy attempt is our only way to have a child.

Although this is only a brief summary of the most recent events of my story over the past few years, it is utterly impossible to include every detail, such as the countless doctors and appointments, phone calls with insurance companies, hours in pharmacies, hours on the internet, hours of research, of phone calls, and a myriad of other time consuming events inclusive of hours simply crying. Words cannot express what a full time job infertility monitoring or a miscarriage becomes. Infertility and loss are issues that consume you. This past June, my husband and I lost our angel baby, which our surrogate was carrying, at 34 weeks pregnant. After years of miscarriages, infertility struggles, surgeries and complicated pregnancies with risks to my life and ultimate losses, my husband and I decided that we needed to try a different way. We looked into our options, adoption vs. surrogacy, and after weighing all odds; we decided that surrogacy was the choice that was right for us. My eggs were fine and genetic testing, both on us and on a baby we had lost, revealed that the problem was with my uterus. We began our long journey through surrogacy. Other then a few bumps along the way, the experience went very well. Our GS was wonderful, and we got along well. We were all completely shocked when at 34 weeks we found out that our little girl has passed from a cord accident. She literally got tangled in her umbilical cord in the womb, and it had cut off the blood supply. They said it is a 1 in 10,000-freak accident. It is beyond me how we keep being that one! Since losing the baby our gestational surrogate was carrying at we have been devastated. We have not only been through an insanely emotional struggle, but also a financial one as well. We refuse to give up on having a child! I went to the doctor recently to find out if there was any way in the world for me to try again on my own, and during a test to see my uterus doctors discovered yet another potentially life threatening complication. How many times can lightning possibly strike? I am facing the fact that surrogacy is my only way to have a child. We are not eligible to adopt and I have been told that carrying a child is a risk to my life. Doctors still insist that we are prime candidates for surrogacy. We still have 8 frozen embryos. Still, we lost over 50g on our last attempt, which was in the form of a loan. Doctors, lawyers, and airlines don’t exactly return the money if you lose the baby. We will essentially be paying off the debt for our deceased child for the next 15 years, which is a tough pill to swallow. Even still, we want a child and are not willing to give up, as many probably believe we should. Having a child is so important to us words cannot explain. We began our search for a new gestational surrogate (GS). Recently I found someone else who I really click with! Things have been going very smoothly, and we have spent hours on the phone. We are beginning to arrange everything in hopes that she will be my new GS. She appears to be an amazing person, and we are on that overwhelming early path, sorting everything out. I forgot how crazy the first few months are! I am working out the finances as we talk, trying to gather money from anywhere possible, to prevent my parents from having to take a loan to pay. They have expressed they are willing to; still I would rather not make them do that if it can be avoided. So I also share my story partially in hopes that you will donate whatever you can afford to, even a few dollars. Any money given will go directly to this new round of surrogacy. Should we be blessed enough to have this journey funded, any money remaining after will go towards paying off some debt from the last surrogacy, and especially towards establishing a system of informative and helpful websites that all women experiencing loss and infertility could turn to for help, and guidance. I strongly feel that had I been informed I would have not made the choices that led to my ultimate permanent infertility. Also, having information about a stress test for my baby (which should have been done due to warning signs) may have saved my sweet Kasandra at 33 weeks, a fetal age where many babies born survive. But of course, as with everything I have been through, my education came after it was too late! I truly hope to save other women from that heartache. We are asking you to donate whatever you are able to. Whether $1 or $100 every little bit helps, and is greatly appreciated.  This is for Phase 1, Including laywer, psychologist and clinic fees. For my full story please go to www.notreadytogiveup.org

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