SUPPORT THIS FUNDRAISER
RELATED LINKS
PERSONAL PAGES
RECENT UPDATES
- Leaving for treatment.November 11th, 2010
Alright, my friends - I don't even know how to go about thanking you. The magnitude of my relief and gratitude for all of your help is enormous. This is sooner than expected; I was expecting to wait…
Read more..
-
My name is Sofia Benbahmed and I am trying to do everything in my power to get the help I need - if you read the description on my page, all of the details are there in an email that I am sending out to friends and family. I am currently trying to raise money to get the treatment recommended for me for a disease I have had for 12 years - an eating disorder. I have had issues with my insurance company and am trying to get the help I need and finally get better! I hope you will read my story and help me so that I can go on to help others.
Dear friends, family, and concerned organizations,
This is a difficult thing to ask - in general, it is difficult to ask for help, let alone financial help when times are so rough. But I have been fighting a
losing battle against a deadly disease -an eating disorder - for far too long now and it is time for me to get the help I need. For this I ask that you
read on and see if you are able to help me in any way. As many of you know, I have struggled with disordered eating in its various forms from a very young age. Four years or so ago it took a turn for the severe, and I have been fighting, literally, to stay alive. I have been in and out
of hospitals and treatment centers for the last four and a half years. This is where the difficulty comes in: I am in a place where I am willing and
wanting to get well, but due to the long term nature and severety of my illness I need a lot of help to do so. Eating disorder treatment, especially
in the form recommended for someone with a disorder as severe as my own, is incredibly expensive. What is being professionally recommended (and
has been for some time now) for me is help in the form of residential treatment: a live in center where I can be monitored at meal times and afterward,
receive therapy in group and individual form, see a dietician and a doctor and be medically monitored with a nursing staff. Last year in November I was admitted to such a facility: it is called Monte Nido and is located in Southern California. During my time there I began to feel myself changing
and rising to the occasion in a way I never had before. It was as though all of these years I have been in a room with no doors or windows,
and suddenly doors began to appear - and not only did they become visible, but I began to walk through them. It is the only way that I
have been able to describe it. Unfortunately, due to the cost of treatment, most insurance companies are unwilling to cover the recommended length of time. Generally they will cover a few weeks, some of the better companies will cover a few months - but in January of 2008 my insurance policy changed from a less problematic carrier to United Behavioral Health. UBH has been atrociously inappropriate in providing me the coverage that I need to get well. After 3 weeks at Monte Nido, UBH stopped paying for my treatment and I had to leave. Since then I have tried, genuinely tried, to
get well - and I have been unable to. My treatment team (therapist, medical doctor, and other professionals) believes I need long term residential
care followed by a "step down" - which means I would follow that with continuing to live in a supportive but less monitored environment while attending a day program, which is the same as residential treatment except during the day and at night I'd be on my own, and following that
with a program that I'd attend a few days a week, and so on.
Monte Nido's program director and all of my treating professionals were shocked at how thoroughly United Behavioral Health failed
to dispense my insurance benefits to me, and Monte Nido's founder and clinical director, Carolyn Costin, graciously became personally involved.
She referred me to an attorney named Lisa Kantor who has worked exclusively with clients with eating disorders, helping them to get their insurance companies to authorize appropriate levels and lengths of care. Lisa has agreed to work with me on a contingency basis, which means that unless we win in court, she doesn't get paid anything - which in itself is a testament to her belief that I have a very good chance at winning. The issue that has come up is that she believes in order to have the best chance of winning, I need to go to treatment and remain there for the duration
of an appeal following UBH pulling out - my family's financial situation has been ravaged by the state of the economy, and we were never wealthy to begin with. My father has been unemployed for almost two years now, my mother retired before all of this happened, and the house they are paying off in North Carolina is worth nothing, as the company that owned and built it has gone bankrupt - so selling their house is not an option
at all, even if it were not such an enormous and frightening sacrifice. Because my medical state has declined significantly recently and it is clear that without appropriate treatment for my illness I will die, my father has graciously offered to take from his retirement. The hope (and belief of Lisa Kantor) is that if I am able to remain in treatment for the duration of the appeal process, UBH will be ordered to reimburse us - and not only that, but ordered to cover the length of time in treatment that is being recommended for me. Lisa estimates that an appeal should take about a month
at minimum, and most likely no more than 6 weeks to two months. There is no guarantee that we will win, but she has never lost a case, and she does not believe that we would lose. What my father is able to take out of his retirement will cover 28 days in treatment. It would be disastrous if I were to go into treatment, have my father pay that money out of pocket, and then not be able to stay for the entire appeal - we have a much better chance of winning if I can stay for the entire thing. Eating disorder treatment is very expensive because of the aggressive and thorough approach that treatment
requires - nursing, nutritional counseling, psychiatric/medication administration and monitoring, 24 hour a day counseling and monitoring, multiple group therapy sessions daily and several individual therapy sessions weekly. Carolyn, Monte Nido's director, has graciously offered a reduced rate for me - dropping the daily rate from $1325 a day to $1050 a day, a savings of about $9000/month. I do not feel comfortable going into treatment without a better chance of being able to remain there for the duration of the appeal/a better chance of reimbursement -the scenario could then be that not only my family would not be reimbursed and we would be even further financially troubled, but I may not get the treatment I need on top of it. This is why I am asking for your help. Again, the hope would be that UBH would be ordered in court to reimburse us everything, and if this were the case I would be able to reimburse anyone who was able to help out in a timely fashion. It is not a guarantee.
If this did not happen I would hopefully be able to make do with the treatment I did receieve and recover - not only saving my life, but going on to do the things I want to do with my life and being present in the world. I would then be in a place where I could work, and if necessary, eventually take out loans. I would do my absolute best to pay anyone who was able to help out back in as timely and efficient a fashion as possible, but I do have to acknowledge that this would probably take many years. So I am asking for your help. I'd like to be able to give you a more concrete idea of just how much money I am trying to raise, but the best I can do is say that I believe at most the appeal would take about 2 months, and as my father is able to cover about a month of that, it would be ideal if I could come up with about 30,000 dollars. Of course that is an extraordinary amount
of money and probably impossible to come up with - an additional two weeks of treatment, which would most likely be enough to cover the length of the appeal, would be 15,000 dollars - a rate of $7500/week. If you are in a position to help it would be most greatly appreciated, and I so appreciate you taking the time to read this. I will be setting up a paypal account online so that you can donate there directly - any bit helps - and if you would like to speak with me further about this, or have any questions, I can be reached on my cell phone at (925) 212 1705 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting (925) 212 1705 end_of_the_skype_highlighting.
If you'd like to donate the funds directly to Monte Nido, please contact me and let me know the amount you'd like to donate and I'll put you in touch with their administrative office/financial department. Also helpful would be if you could forward this email to any friends or family you think might be able or willing to help out, and spread the word. Help me recover to go on and help others do the same!
My hope is to go on to become a therapist and help others recover from these deadly diseases and do advocacy work to raise awareness and help end eating disorders. I love you all and again appreciate you taking the time to read this. Thank you,
Sofia Benbahmed
Sofia's Eating Disorder Treatment Fund updates.
Leaving for treatment.
November 11th, 2010
Alright, my friends - I don't even know how to go about thanking you. The magnitude of my relief and gratitude for all of your help is enormous. This is sooner than expected; I was expecting to wait several more weeks and work on getting my driver's license (I have my permit), but after speaking with my treatment team and my parents we decided collectively that in light of things waiting is not a smart idea. So I'm getting on a plane in the morning and being admitted tomorrow. I will be Officially Unavailable for the most part because I really want to focus on utilizing the resources while I have them, but so many of you (amazingly) have expressed a continued interest in helping with this beyond the GiveForward timeline - and that is so appreciated - so I want to leave you with some information. My email is kwestion22@yahoo.com if you need to contact me, and I will have some computer access. If you want to donate after the deadline, you can send the check to my father, who will be paying for my treatment, at: Salim Benbahmed 1920 Fairwinds dr Graham, NC 27253 in his name. I'm all scattered so I don't know what else to write about except to THANK YOU, thank you, thank you, thank you for your help. Beyond the monetary support I've been completely astonished at the amount of support and kind words and well wishes I've received. This has truly been an amazing, rare outpouring of human kindness and I feel blessed to have been the recipient. I cannot tell you how IMPORTANT this fund raising has been: when treatment centers call insurance companies for authorization, they generally authorize at least a week at a time if they approve admission, if not two weeks or a month at a time. My insurance company has authorized - for one day. And they will be re-evaluating when I get there. Which I guess means all of this (beginning the appeal process) is going to go down a little more quickly than anyone had anticipated. Every one of you is part of the reason that I am able to seek treatment despite this ridiculousness. All of my love, all of my gratitude (and my word that I will do my very, very best), Sofia Benbahmed
Long overdue update (October 16th)
October 17th, 2010
Hi guys,
It's been a long while since I've updated you all and for that I apologize; I'm sure you can appreciate that it's difficult to be public about this, but you all have more than met me half way and I do feel like it's important to keep you informed on the progress of this, to let you know that your generosity is being put to good use and to let you know I'm meeting you there.
So - the total amount raised (and I have no idea how much has been sent to FREED, so this is not counting that) on and off of the website is almost $5,350. Which is amazing and significant, and I cannot thank each and every one of you enough. This fund raiser has reached a lot of people, and I'm really grateful. I've had the opportunity to speak with a lot of people from all stages - some who are still struggling, many who are in the beginnings of their recovery, and many who have recovered - and it's been amazing. I've sadly also gotten a lot of messages from people who have had similar issues with their insurance companies and my eyes have been opened even further to the magnitude of this problem. A beautiful twelve year old girl who was the recipient of a scholarship fund pointed me in that direction and I applied to that; I'll hear back in the next month or so as to their funding availability. I have one more scholarship application to turn in for another scholarship, and should hear back by late December once I turn that in. I've also had the pleasure of becoming acquainted with a sweet young woman from Arizona, who is involved with a charity organization that helps young people who choose their own projects to complete them - and she, early in her own recovery, has decided to fund raise for my treatment and raise awareness of the issue of insurance coverage around eating disorders; I cannot thank that young woman enough.
There are a few things I need to do before I can get on the waiting list and go into treatment - of course, continue fund raising, but also get my driver's license so that I will be eligible to stay at the transition house, and deal with my apartment situation (when my lease is up in several weeks, put my stuff into storage and give my 30 days notice). I took the test for my driver's permit a couple of days ago and unfortunately failed it, but I'm studying harder and will be taking it again on Monday! After which I'll start driving lessons, and in 2-3 weeks take the test to get my actual license.
I also have to thank the bloggers who have taken part in "Blogging for Sofia", and namely Mary Maxfield, the blogger who started that. You guys have been unbelievably kind and I am so grateful.
There are so many more people to thank, but I hope you'll forgive me for my inability to thank you all individually.
As far as the medical, I'm seeing a doctor out here in North Carolina and she's helping me try to keep things manageable for the time being. I have been working hard on increasing my food intake so that things don't get any worse with some success, and that's a huge step for me - trying to improve things even before going into treatment. For many of you who do not have eating disorders you may not know it, but there is a component to the disease that makes getting help difficult to justify, a feeling that if you are not "sick enough" you do not deserve it. I can't say I don't sometimes feel that way, but I have been honestly working against that voice, and succeeding in quieting it.
That's all for now, but I wanted to let you all know I am still working on this and thank you so, so much for continuing to help. I have so much love and gratitude.
Sofia
Update on Wednesday, September 29th.
September 29th, 2010
First I do want to reiterate how grateful I am. For all of your help. I am so touched.
Now, just a general update on how I'm doing...I guess because you all obviously care about my well being, and because...well, I don't know what else to do. Things are hard. I'm doing my best to stay afloat, to take the best care I can make myself, and I'm falling short. I've never...I think it's impossible to really explain an eating disorder. I wish that I could just make myself do what I need to do. This fund raiser has been such a blessing in so many ways, but the goal is *so* high, and I'm losing steam and energy and health. I will keep going - and I will be organizing events, and I'm applying for a treatment scholarship that could be about another $2500 if I get it (and I'd find out by late December, so who knows where I'll be then)...but the truth of the matter is that this is just so incredibly draining. "This" being the disorder itself. Having lived this way for so long.
I'm responsible for my recovery. I'm not responsible for having become ill, but I'm responsible for my recovery. And the best that I've been able to do is increase my intake some and really, really try to decrease the other associated behaviors...and honestly, it's so frustrating to know I need help and have it be so incredibly difficult to access because of something like insurance trouble. I sat at the table the other night with my father, crying. I didn't know why I was crying, and I rarely feel comfortable being so vulnerable in front of either of my parents - I guess I feel like they worry enough or something - and I just am so baffled. No one person can fix this financial problem. I love my father, and he has given me so much in my life - and this time, he's decided to take an enormous amount out of his retirement - but the fact is, we need much more to ensure that I can stay through the appeal and a) not render my family bankrupt as a result of my illness and b) actually get the recommended length of time in treatment. And it's so scary to know that I may just have to go in before I'll have raised enough to make that happen. And I'm terrified.
And I'm lucky. I have to thank those of you who have reminded me not to give up. And with all of your help so far, in all of the different ways you all have helped, I have known that it would be so, so selfish to give up at this point. How dare I not give myself a shot? How dare I not fight like hell for my life? For whatever reason, I have had the most amazing people come into my life, time and time again, and I really can't tell you how this has kept me alive in my darkest moments. You all - before this all came to be such a problem or regardless of it - have rocked my world with how beautiful you are. And I am so lucky. I know that you want the best for me, and I want the best for me, too. And I will work and meet you halfway. I'm doing the best I can.
Phew. All of that aside, I need to start getting some fund raising events together I think, in order to start increasing the amount I'm raising. If anyone has any ideas or can help in any way, please let me know! And thank you for the support. I will get through this, and I will get better, and I will go on and be an example that recovery is possible.
You can now make your donations tax deductible! In
September 26th, 2010
ALRIGHT: You can now have your donations be tax deductible by donating through the FREED foundation. In order to do this, send a check made out to "the FREED foundation" with "for Sofia Benbahmed's treatment" written in the memo box to the following address: PO Box 4113
Warren, NJ 07059
100% of the donations will go to m...y treatment - it just makes it tax deductible for donors :) - please keep helping to spread the word!
Get Answers to your Questions
September 24th, 2010
Hi all,
After realizing that quite a few people have some important questions in regards to the fundraiser I decided to create a FormSpring so that you can ask them, and so that once I answer a question everyone can access the answer (a few people have had similar questions). Here's the link: http://www.formspring.me/edtreatmentfund
Friday, September 24th
September 24th, 2010
I want to thank everyone for all of the amazing help so far. In particular, right now, I want to recognize my amazing family for being as supportive as they are - my extended family as well as my parents. I love you guys.
A question someone asked that I'd like to address:
"If you aren't able to raise the full amount, what will you do with the money you've raised?"
- I would still go into treatment and make the most of the time I did get. I would hope that the appeal would be of a shorter length, and if it weren't, again - make the most of what I got. Now this brings me to something else I wanted to let people know: if I DO win the appeal and get reimbursed, anyone who has donated who would like to be reimbursed would be. And if the donor(s) preferred, I would donate the funds to either the National Eating Disorders Association or the FREED Foundation (a non profit organization that raises funds and provides treatment scholarships to people with eating disorders who do not have the resources; currently they're out of funds).
A few updates:
We're now up to a total of $2,670 on Giveforward, and an additional $350 from offline donors - bringing us to $3,020 and 10% of our goal. Thank you to every generous person who has contributed.
In the works:
1) I've been working on the applications for two treatment scholarship funds. The two more well known organizations that provide scholarships are currently suffering from the state of the economy, but some people pointed me to some smaller/newer organizations, and I am hopeful that this could be very helpful.
2) We've been trying to get things together to do an online auction: WE NEED DONATIONS FOR THIS! So if you or anyone you know has anything they could donate to an online auction (art, jewelry - anything you think would be appropriate) please let me know! My email address is kwestion22@yahoo.com and you can find me on facebook by searching my full name: Sofia Benbahmed.
3) My wonderful friend Lauren and I were talking a few nights ago (our nightly chats - I love them, Lauren :-P) and she had what I think is a brilliant idea. She said she was watching Oprah the other day and thought "Why don't a BUNCH of us just email her? They'd have to pay attention to it after like, the fourtieth one..." - so I'm going to work on a draft for that, and then we want to organize this. I think if it's well organized and planned, and we make sure that a certain minimum number of that same email are sent (same subject line and body paragraph), we might have a good chance of getting some help from that network. And even if she didn't donate to the fund, think about it this way: if 3,000 people each donated $10, we'd have $30,000 right there! And HOW many people watch Oprah? I was thanking my aunt over the phone today and told her about the idea and she was saying that even her friends in Algeria watch Oprah. Lauren, you're brilliant. So if you'd like to volunteer to be one of the people to send the email, please either notify me so that I can notify you when the time comes, or keep checking the facebook page and these updates.
4) "Fund Raising Event Week"; I haven't done much work on this one yet but I'm pretty serious about the idea, as I think that it's a good one. One week of fund raising events; at least one per day, in different areas. For this I'd be so grateful for volunteers to host events in their area - it doesn't have to be fancy or complicated, anything from a car wash to a dinner party to a movie night - invite your friends over and have either an admission fee or a donation box...I'll come up with some more ideas for this one, but again, if you're interested please contact me and if not I'll be in touch and keep updating on this.
5) This is important for people who want to donate larger amounts or for any businesses who may be interested in donating to know, especially for the fund raising event week events: The FREED foundation, because their funds are low at the moment, is helping people with fund raising! So they've offered to allow the donations to my treatment fund to go *through* them - and because they're a non profit, this makes the donations tax deductible. I'm emailing back and forth with the woman from there and she's a pretty busy lady so we need to be patient on this one, but this is a *great* thing. I'll get more details on that as soon as I can.
There are also a lot of really lovely people using their creativity and talents to try to see what they can do, who have contacted me about it, and I am so grateful for this - thank you all!
And lastly, I want to reiterate that I'm amazed by the response; this fund raiser has only been going on for 5 days and I'd say we're doing amazingly. However, I do need to mention that this is time sensitive. I have an amazing therapist back home (I live in California but have been staying with my parents in North Carolina - as I live alone and that seems like a bad idea at the moment) who I had a phone session with yesterday; she's been very encouraging and inspired by this and all of you, but she reminded me that I'm not in good shape right now and really need to do what I can to make these things happen as fast as possible, so that I can go into treatment in as timely a manner as possible.
THANK YOU all for everything and for reading - I hope you are all well, and I'm honestly stunned by this collective act of kindness.
All of my love and gratitude,
Sofia
ALSO! This fund raiser featured in a wonderful wom
September 22nd, 2010
Day two, and at 6% of the goal! Also: some things
September 21st, 2010
If you'll believe it we're at $1860. I am beyond thankful.
Today a lot of things happened for this fund raiser. Two dear friends have offered to donate their talents (one an amazing massage therapist, the other a very talented artist) to help out - so that's going to be in the works. A very well known recovered woman named Jenny Schaefer - an author, singer, and recovery and awareness activist - answered my request on her facebook wall and posted the link to this page on her twitter account. A wonderful recovered woman, who has realized my own future goal to go on and become a therapist, named Rachael Stern has been totally taking charge and helping clueless me with figuring out what steps to take in order to make this fund raiser work, and I am so grateful for everything she is doing - with her amazing network of contacts, there are some incredibly insightful bloggers out there getting ready to help promote this cause. People I know and people I don't know are coming together to help spread the word about this and are donating - people I haven't spoken to in years have come forth to wish me well, and I have to thank all of you for this again. I am beginning to believe that this may be possible.
That said, we have a very, very long way to go and the people involved in making this happen - Rachael, my dear friend Lauren Davis, and many others and I are brainstorming on fund raising events. What YOU can do to help in addition to posting the link to this website, emailing your family and friends, and donating, is this:
I'd like to organize a week of fund raising events - anything from a dinner party to auctions to car washes - where we have at least one event happening per day. Rachael and I are going to work on doing an online auction, and if you have anything you'd like to donate you can contact me and let me know on my facebook (you can find me under my name, Sofia Benbahmed). If you are able, it would be an *incredible* help if you could organize an event in your area! Again, some ideas are: dinner parties, car washes, auctions, art sales, yard sales, or anything else you can think of that you'd like to do! If you have any musician friends, a benefit concert is one idea, or if you or any of your family/close friends have a company that might be willing to match funds this would be incredibly helpful as well. Contact me and let me know if you are willing and/or able to help out in any of these ways or any other ways you can think of.
You've all been so wonderful and I hope that we can keep working to make this happen. As amazing and quick as the progress has been I know that raising funds is bound to get more difficult as time goes on. I'm making a sincere effort to reduce the harm my eating disorder does on my body, but this is a time sensitive thing. Thank you all again.
DAY ONE A SUCCESS!
September 19th, 2010
In 24 hours we have managed to raise 1,005 dollars! You're all rockstars, thank you so much - it's not over, but we can do this and I am in awe of all of you. Let's keep spreading the word to make this happen!
I love you all.
Sofia's Eating Disorder Treatment Fund Donors.
-
Anonymous gave $500.00November 5th, 2010
"You're so strong and brave. I know that you can beat this."
-
Lila and Family gave $500.00September 23rd, 2010
"I wish you get better very soon, Love."
-
Anonymous gave $300.00September 19th, 2010
"Good luck with your fund raising. I hope it succeeds and you get well."
-
Adrienne gave $300.00November 14th, 2010
"You know that I love you, and have no doubt that you can do this. You are a beautiful, strong person inside and out, and you spread your own special light to everyone you meet. In the words of Kenneth: "Aren't you the one who said that nothing is impossible except for dinosaurs? And to live every week like shark week?" shark it up, baby!"
-
Anonymous gave $25.00December 26th, 2010
"Our niece asked us to donate to Sofia's treatment fund in lieu of receiving a Christmas gift for herself. We are happy to contribute and wish Sofia all the best and thank our niece for having such a big heart."
-
Allison gave $10.00December 20th, 2010
"Best wishes, Sofia. Your story will be an inspiration for people suffering from eating disorders. Peace and love to you and your family."
-
Anonymous gave $100.00December 18th, 2010
"You can do it Sofia. You are strong!"
-
Gray gave $25.00December 18th, 2010
"Sofia, I hope you know that by seeking treatment and fighting to stay in treatment you've proven yourself to be extreamly brave. I wish more people had your courage."
Hugs for Sofia's Eating Disorder Treatment Fund.