Lori Hope, author of Help Me Live: 20 Things People with Cancer Want You to Know, documentary filmmaker and cancer survivor, teamed up with Aflac insurance in order to answer that question.  They conducted a nationwide survey of unpaid caregivers to better understand how people with serious illnesses would like to be approached socially. The survey identified the top ten things to say to someone who is seriously ill.  Most focused on keeping positive and supportive while being respectful of the patient’s time, space and decisions. “I love you, and I am here for you no matter what.” was number one.  Others included:“I’ll be thinking about you tomorrow at [noon] during your treatment/appointment/surgery,” and  “It’s normal to be scared or depressed. I’m here.”

What NOT to say…

• Telling someone how to feel: Each person faces different sets of fears and challenges when met with a serious illness. Telling people how to feel, or that they should think positively, can be counterproductive. However, letting them know that it’s all right to have feelings of fear and sadness is often more effective than saying, “You’re going to be okay.”
• Avoid making assumptions or comparisons:  Your friend’s experience is unique, and they may not want to hear about your second cousin who is a ten-year cancer survivor and regularly competes in marathons.
• Comment on a person’s choice of treatment options: People with cancer each have different treatment plans and different responses to treatment.  They arrive at these decisions after deep consideration. It doesn’t matter what you would do in the same situation.

Be the same friend you always have been…

You’re friend will experience physical and emotional changes but you should do your best to treat them the same way you always have.  Keep positive and remind them that you are there for them.  Demonstrate your hope and optimism by making plans for the future together.

Treatments may make small tasks into big struggles.  Be patient with your friend.  Watch for cues that it might be OK to help but don’t force the issue.  They most likely would prefer to be as independent as possible. When in doubt ask permission; to visit,  offer help, give advice…

Offer specific ways you can help…

The nonspecific offer: “Let me know if there’s anything that I can do,” is one of the worst things you can ask a friend who is battling cancer. They are most likely overwhelmed with decisions about health care, fears and concerns. Day-to-day needs may be the furthest thing from their mind.  It’s far better to think of specific ways you might help and then offer to do them. Consider what your friend really needs and what you’re able to do:

• “I’m going to the store, can I get you anything?”
• “Would you like me to pick up the kids from daycare?”
• “Should I water your plants?”
• ‘Can I take you out for lunch?”

Don’t be offended if the answer is “no,” but try again another day.

“Cell warfare doesn’t leave much time for chores like scrubbing the bathtub or weeding…Cancer turns everyday things into existential symbols. Dirty laundry, dust bunnies, and empty refrigerators quickly become images of disorder and loss of control.” says Kelly Corrigan, newspaper columnist and breast cancer survivor.

Serious illnesses can leave you too overwhelmed, tired or sick to ask for help, also your friend may feel like they were imposing.  Extending specific offers, without being asked, shows that you truly want to help.  A bag of groceries or a load of dishes can mean more than dozens of cards.

It may prove useful to both you and your friend if you organize a support team to accomplish the the myriads of task that will make your friend’s life easier and more comfortable. This way you can make sure that someone is always checking in and that chores do not go undone. Online resources can help you coordinate your efforts.

Laughter therapy

Be silly and have fun.  Send them a hilarious You Tube video or a cheesy postcard. Ethan from GiveForward has some great tips for keeping your friend giggling.

The solace of silence…

Sometimes it’s better to give your friend some distance, “This may not be a good time. I’ll call again in a few days, ” is a good thing to say when your friend is not up to talking.  When you are sick, there are both good days and bad days, this could be one of the latter.

An underrated and greatly appreciated way to help is to sit quietly and say nothing.   People with a serious illness spend a great deal of time and energy explaining how they are feeling and relaying the details of their illness to friends, family, co-workers and even strangers. Your friend may be weary of talking about cancer and want discuss something else or maybe they need to rest and silence would be a welcome change.  Someone just being there, is all the help they need.

Support your friend emotionally–and financially…

Cancer is a drain: physically, emotionally and financially

• Average out-of-pocket expenses amount to $712 a month–even with insurance!
• Expenses include: co-pays, travel to and from treatment, prescriptions and many others.
• Some treatments are not fully covered under insurance– some are not covered at all.
• In addition to medical expenses,  patients often have to take extended periods of time off of work.

“One in five people with cancer use up all or most of their savings, and those are people who have insurance, ” says Christy Schmidt, a cancer survivor  and an author of the a joint report from the Kaiser Family Foundation and the American Cancer Society outlining  the serious financial consequences of cancer.   Another study from the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center revealed that people diagnosed with cancer were twice as likely to file for bankruptcy.  Medical expenses are the leading cause of bankruptcy in the U.S.

If your friend is like most people, they are unprepared to handle this kind of expense on their own.  But you can help.  By starting a GiveForward fundraising page you empower your friend’s family and friends to offer emotional and financial support.

Jamie Dieringer raised $67, 507 for family friend 18 month old, Isabella Pollard, who had a cancerous neuroblastoma in her abdomen.  Her parents were under-insured at the time because her mother was pregnant and on leave from work and her father had recently graduated from university and hadn’t yet found a job. Fortunately between their insurance and the funds raised from their GiveForward page the Pollards were able to afford Bella’s medical care which included five rounds of chemo and travel from their home in Hawaii to the Boston Children’s Hospital for surgery. Bella has been pronounced cancer free and has returned to blowing bubbles and finger painting. Lori also raised money with GiveForward for a friend with cancer, read about her experience on her blog.

Battling cancer is a challenging, scary and debilitating experience.  Fortunately, your friend has you to help them through it.   Trust in your friendship, remember to be positive, non-judgemental and to offer specific ways to help.  Your enduring presence will reassure and comfort and your help with practical things such as occasional chores or starting a GiveForward fundraising page to allay expenses will maintain normalcy and keep the bills the paid. Do your best to be a good listener and give your friend plenty of space–sometimes just being there is what helps the most.

A fundraiser for a young man hospitalized after he was attacked leaving work one night has brought together the New Rochelle community.

Stabbed in the neck during what police say was an unprovoked attack, 32-year old Rolando Alvarez is now facing a long road to recovery but thanks to the support of his family and community, he is healing.

According to Rolando’s cousin, Susan “Rolo had his family by his beside in the days following the attack and we were amazed at how positive his spirits remained and how he was telling jokes and making everyone laugh.  He has truly been an example and an inspiration to everyone around him during this trial.”

Doctors say Rolando was lucky he was not paralyzed or killed during the attack but with no insurance, Rolando and his wife are facing over $90,000 in medical bills.  In order to help Rolo focus on healing, Susan has set up a GiveForward page to allow people to donate and help defray the costs of care.

We hope you’ll join everyone here at GiveForward in sending Rolo and his family lots of good vibes and hopes of a speedy recovery!

All you have to do is follow 3 easy steps and the iPad could be yours!

Ready?

1. First, “Like” the GiveForward company page on Facebook. It is important to like this particular page (http://www.facebook.com/pages/GiveForward/157801610956395?ref=ts) because that is the only page we will be monitoring so make sure it is not one of the other pages that GiveForward is affiliated with, such as Give Forward and GiveForward.org.

2. Next, in a status update, let us know what Giving Forward means to you. It could be as small as sharing food with your friends or as big as a generous donation to your favorite fundraiser on our site. We want to hear it all!

3. And finally, tag the GiveForward company page that you just “liked” somewhere in the status. Here is an example: “To me, giving forward means doing a random act of kindness once a day. @GiveForward.” By tagging us, we will know to give you credit for your brilliant answer and enter you in the raffle.

And don’t think that this is a one in a million chance– you can enter as many times as you want! Each time you give us a definition and tag us in the post, you will be entered in the raffle again. It’s as simple as that!

The winner will be notified at the end of the month, and we will be compiling some of our favorite answers to be featured on our site.

So tell your friends, neighbors, and everyone you know– everyone is eligible! Please help us GiveForward a new iPad this August, and of course, thank you so much for all of your support.

Sending endless hugs,

The GiveForward Team

Among those joining the discussion are GiveForward’s co-founders, Desiree Vargas Wrigley and Ethan Austin who will both be hosting discussions about major shifts in the world due to the emergence of crowdfunding technology.

In addition to speaking, Desiree was honored to be named one of the TechWeek 100.  The TechWeek 100 is a gathering of individuals who are impacting the business and technology landscape on a global scale.

As part of the impact GiveForward is having, both Desiree and Ethan are tackling major topics during TechWeek about how crowdfunding is changing the face of many industries.  ”Crowdfunding” is a word used to describe people who use the internet to tap into networks to gather funding.

During  “Transformations in Healthcare Technology” on July 23^rd, Desiree Vargas Wrigley will discuss how Health 2.0 companies, like GiveForward, are transforming the healthcare industry.  Desiree, who will be discussing “Crowdfunding Patient Care”, joins Chirag Patel, Founder of Chicago Health 2.0, who is tackling “The Gamification of Health” while Subbu Arumugam, Co-Founder of SugarSnap discusses “How Smart Is Your Doctor?”.

Later that afternoon,  Ethan Austin will be moderating the “Crowd Funding” panel, discussing the overall concept of crowdfunding and how it will disrupt the funding landscape for years to come.  Panelists include Rob Wu, Founder of CauseVox, Josh Terick, CEO and Founder of 33needs, Erica Labovitz, Director of Marketing of IndieGoGo and Nate St. Pierre, Founder of LoveDrop.

Come Monday, Desiree will address the changing world of funding with the addition of crowdfunding and how companies can benefit from additional capital during her “SPARK Women: Funding Basics – What options are available? Is it right for you?” panel.

If you can’t make these sessions, weigh in now!  Have you used crowdfunding?  Do you think it has changed the way we fund things?  Will it have a broader impact on the way we view giving in general?

This piece by MSN featuring GiveForward’s CEO Desiree Vargas Wrigley, talks a little about how small business owners do exactly what our users are doing – turning to each other when they need a little extra help.  Oh and in case you were wondering who that beautiful baby is in the video they featured, that is Hannah and here is her fundraiser: Help Hannah Breathe.

Social Actions API is an open database of opportunities to make a difference.  The site has provided over 100,000 opportunities to make a difference in the world through volunteering, donation and job openings.

GiveForward is honored to join 60 other organizations in the Social Action community that provide ways for users to make a positive impact on the world.

Four years ago at age 33, Megan was diagnosed with Stage IIIb colon cancer.   Unfortunately, having a job, health insurance, and savings was no match when it came to the medical bills that have accumulated throughout the past years.

After battling the cancer for years, Megan is now healing and completing a master’s program in Occupational Therapy so she can help others going through medical problems. However Megan has struggled to pay for school, treatment co-pays and monthly insurance premiums that have increased seven-fold since her diagnosis.

Knowing all this, Megan’s family and friends, stepped up to get Megan the help she needs to finally pay off those medical bills.  They started a GiveForward fundraising page on her behalf and are already gaining momentum.

Everyone here are GiveForward is proud to give love and encouragement, and of course send out lots hugs to Megan and her friends.

As it was, the ameloblastoma in Sarah’s lower right jaw bone had already done significant damage, without her feeling any pain.  When doctors found the tumor she went in for immediate surgery and they had to remove an entire portion of her lower right jaw.

While the surgery stopped the tumor, it also left Sarah with a fragile titanium plate in her jaw and due to extensive nerve damage, she no longer has full mobility in her mouth.  Doctors say a series of three reconstructive surgeries will help stabilize Sarah’s jaw and allow her to once again smile easily.

Sarah’s loved ones have now come together to help her cover the expenses of these additional surgeries and “help her regain her confident smile” through their GiveForward fundraiser “The Smile of A Child”.  To learn more about Sarah and her fight against ameloblastoma, check out here fundraising page here.

We want to send the whole Reynolds family lots of hug and high fives as they and their community rally together to help Sarah smile again.

Despite handling more in her young life than most people do as adults, Bella’s only request is one you would likely hear from any three year old – to go to Disneyworld.

To help her get to the happiest place on earth, her family started a fundraiser to cover the cost of the trip.  They managed to raise just over $6,500 on GiveForward and are getting ready for their trip!

In the meantime, the unbelievable outpouring of support from Bella’s community has truly matched her fighting spirit.  Take one look at her website and you can see offers from people to hold bake sales, put out donation jars and even run 50 miles to help fundraise to cover the costs of Bella’s treatments.

The GiveForward team is honored to have been a part of this momentous wave of love and support and we want to send lots of hugs and high fives to Bella, her family and her whole community for being awesome.

The Chicago incubator is offering its entrepreneurs $50,000 in convertible debt, with no discount or cap, from New World Ventures, one of the Midwest’s largest early stage funds.

The money is available to Excelerate’s 2011 class of ten startup companies.  This offering allows these companies access to capital without locking in valuation terms today. As TechCrunch says, the “offering is bound to be popular amongst the startups in Excelerate’s program”.

To be fair, we might be a little biased because GiveForward is an Excelerate Labs startup with investment from New World Ventures, but we are excited to welcome what is sure to be an amazing new class of companies to the Chicago startup scene!