GiveForward

Online fundraising with sites like GiveForward has become an amazing resource for people to rally a community together in the wake of a tragedy like the Colorado shooting.  But the power of online fundraising can also raise some concerns.  Recently, families of the victims of the shooting have asked a very legitimate question – why they weren’t included in the decision to distribute the millions of dollars collected online after the shooting?

During a press conference addressing their concerns the families were represented by Tom Teves, father of Alex Teves who was killed during the shootings.  Mr. Teves asked why the families weren’t involved when the names and faces of their loved one were used to raise more than $5 million by online charities.  This question is not only fair, but one that needs to be asked by both people fundraising and people giving to online fundraisers and it is a question that we hope everyone using our site asks.

One of the most powerful things about online fundraising is that it can mobilize millions and do it quickly, but there is also a responsibility that comes along with these powerful platforms.  The initial motivation for GiveForward grew from our CEO’s desire to be able to directly help the victims of Hurricane Katrina, rather than donating to a non-profit.

Our goal at GiveForward has always been to help individuals.  That is why we provide a platform that empowers communities to rally around their loved ones and send help directly to them, rather than to a third party on behalf of their loved ones.

We take the responsibility of helping our users very seriously and it is why we are so passionate about helping people like Mr. Wolfson, and the victims of the Colorado shootings.  We know that the friends and family of the beneficiary didn’t rally together to give to an organization, they rallied together to give to their loved one and we are honored to be the medium through which they choose to give.

To that end, we are glad that Mr. Teves and the families of the Aurora shooting victims are asking questions and we encourage all who are giving or fundraising online to ask those questions as well.  We’ll always be here to answer.

Starting school can be a difficult experience for parents & kids, but it can be even more challenging when your child is considered different.  We wanted to share this great post by our friend Jen Reeves, blogger at Born Just Right, on how she deals with the questions that come with the start of the school year.

Jen Lee Reeves is a mom of two kids, Cameron and Jordan – Jordan was born with a limb difference or as Jen says, she was “born just right”.  Jen runs an advocate site while also teaching at the Missouri School of Journalism and helping to manage an NBC affiliate newsroom. This is Jen’s post about how to tackle school  and all the questions that can come along with starting a new school year.

We jumped into our first full week of school and it seems like Jordan is getting into the flow very comfortably. She does this to me. We head into a huge transition and she just flows into it.

Her teacher says things are going well… Most kids are very understanding of Jordan’s difference. Her biggest problems on the playground lately has just been her strong-willed personality butting up against strong-willed boys who try to boss her around. All-in-all things are going really well.

Earlier in the week, the school sent out a letter I wrote for Randy and I to all of the parents of Kindergarten kids. That’s every parent, not just the parents of kids in Jordan’s class. I had written it from the guidance of a letter that was pre-written from a Litte Fins club member in Minnesota. We modified ours and told a few things about this site and Jordan’s characteristics. What stinks is the version that was used mention’s Jordan’s little RIGHT arm… when it’s her little LEFT arm. Whoops. Well… the message was probably more important that the specific arm.

I have rewritten the letter so anyone can rewrite it for their family’s needs. I feel terrible for swiping it from another parent who made it available… but I honestly can’t find the original link where I downloaded the letter. If anyone knows where I found it, please leave a comment and I’ll update this post.

In the meantime, here’s a look at the letter. If you click on the link to this letter, you can choose to download it in a .docx or .txt format so you can rewrite it and use it at your school! Thanks to Born Just Right reader Melissa for requesting this letter so she can use it too!

By the way – if you’d like to see some of the other ways we prepared for Kindergarten, check out this post.

To read this post on Jen’s site, Born Just Right, click here.  For more tips, take a look at the additional ways they prepped for school here.

Generic Version Letter

When a crisis occurs, many people ask what they can do to help.  Recently, we’ve seen more and more people turning to sites like GiveForward to send support in the wake of a tragedy like the shootings in Colorado.  We have been so moved by the stories of heroism and the outpouring of support from the community that we wanted to take a moment share a few of the stories we have seen.

As one of the 12 victims who died during the shooting, Matt McQuinn’s story has become well known. Matt was attending the Dark Knight premiere with his girlfriend when the gunman entered the theater and began shooting.  As the shooter approached them, Matt, 27, dove in front of his girlfriend to protect her.  He was shot 3 times.  After his passing, Matt’s friends and family rallied together to create an online memorial and send support to his family.  Matt was laid to rest on Saturday and the notes of support from people who couldn’t attend the service have flooded into his page.  Since starting the fundraiser just ten days ago, they have raised over $12,000 in Matt’s memory.

Josh Nowlan is being called a hero by all who know him.  Josh, a father and Navy veteran who served in Iraq, was in the theater with friends during the shooting at the Dark Knight Rises premiere in Aurora, Colorado.  When the gunman advanced towards his group, Josh threw himself in front of his friends, newlyweds Brandon & Denise.  Josh was shot twice, but his friends were not hurt.  Thankfully, Josh’s injuries were not life-threatening but he does have a long road to recovery ahead of him.  He has already had 4 surgeries and been in the hospital for over 10 days now, with no ETA on his discharge.  But Josh’s friends and family have come together to provide a light in a dark situation, and they have raised over $5,000 for Josh, with donations coming in from friends, family and complete strangers who have heard of Josh’s heroism.

Bryson Billapando and his wife attended the the 12:05am showing of the Dark Knight Rises with two of their friends.  When the shooter entered the theater and began his attack, Bryan and his wife were hurt but they were lucky enough to escape with minor injuries but sadly one of their good friends was killed during the attack.  When their loved ones heard about the shooting and that the Billapandos were involved, they immediately rallied to gather support for the young couple.  They have since raised over $5,000 from dozens of donors who sent words of love and support from across the country.

From the whole GiveForward staff, we are keeping everyone impacted by this tragedy in our thoughts and hope that the outpouring of support from across the globe can provide some peace to the families involved.

Carissa is a 25-year-old breast cancer survivor and grateful recipient of a GiveForward fundraiser. A University of Colorado graduate, Carissa now lives in Minneapolis with her boyfriend, Jamin.

I imagine that all cancer patients remember the moment they were diagnosed with impeccable clarity. That moment – the official delivery of such dreaded news – is so distinct that it feels as if it occurred mere hours ago rather than months earlier.

My nurse Jeanne called me at work on November 2nd. “We did find cancer in those tumors,” she told me. My heart stopped at that moment. I choked out a response as I shuffled into a quiet room at my office. I tried to scribble all the information she gave me, but I was barely listening to her. All I could think was cancer, cancer, cancer.

Breast cancer? How? I was only 24 years old.

The news spread within a few hours and before I knew it a flood of support engulfed my family and I. Friends and family stocked my fridge, filled my mailbox with kind notes and sent positive vibes and prayers from all over the country. By the time I got to my first chemotherapy appointment, I felt like there was an army behind me.

As I settled into the role of a cancer patient, I thought a lot about those that had come before me. Strong is a word often associated with patients, and it had certainly been a common thread among all the encouragement I received. When I thought of strength, I thought of invincibility. I pictured unyielding mountains and huge, healthy redwood trees.

There were certainly times when I felt strong. Maybe not redwood tree strong, but strong enough to wonder, how the hell am I doing this? How did I shave my head? How did I make it through those chemotherapy treatments? The surgery? How did I show up to work every day? It seemed I recognized my strength most in retrospect.

And then there were times when I felt anything but strong. Nights spent quietly crying myself to sleep; days completely wasted as the chemo haze overcame me. Sometimes I didn’t know exactly what I was upset about, other than the obvious. I found myself completely enveloped in my own grief as I cried and cried and cried.

About two months into treatment, I finished reading a book about cancer in your 20s and 30s. The passage below, an interview with a twenty-something woman with cancer, stuck with me:

“Being strong is not just about being inspirational or having your sh*t together. It’s about being able to freak out, too, so long as you don’t get stuck there. Being strong is admitting that you are vulnerable ‘cause we don’t want to believe that anything can affect us… You know what? It’s affected me. I’m in shock right now. I’m freaking out. Maybe I’ll start healing now that I’m actually able to be sad. I don’t want this to go on forever because it’s actually very draining, but in my weakness I feel stronger.”

I began to understand that succumbing to sadness did not translate to failure, lack of positivity or absence of hope. Instead, these moments helped me process what was truly happening to me. And in acknowledging my own vulnerability, I felt the strength that so many supporters willed me to hold. Admitting vulnerability not only gave me courage, it also allowed me to accept the help of family and friends. Along with the sadness that came with this diagnosis, there were some very special gestures, small and large, sprinkled along the way.

One incredible gesture was the creation of the Run for Carissa fundraiser that my childhood friend, Nicole, orchestrated. The donations rolled in within minutes of the fundraiser’s launch. The first from a stranger. The second from a classmate I hadn’t spoken to in over 15 years. Then, old friends. Neighbors. Teachers. Family. I couldn’t believe the outpouring of support, the generosity and the genuine concern and understanding from so many.

Some may think of money as an impersonal gift, but the donations I received were unbelievably personal. Each and every time I picked up a hospital bill, I silently thanked all of the people who donated to the fund. Even with insurance, the out-of- pocket costs of cancer shocked me. Without the help of Nicole and the kindness of those who donated, my financial circumstances would have been much bleaker and the road to recovery all the more difficult.

The creation of the Run for Carissa fundraiser helped me understand that people really do want to help. And a part of this experience was to accept their goodness with humility. As I embrace my new cancer-free life, I know I will never forget what I have been through; nor will I forget the people who helped me along the way. In whatever way I can, I will pay their goodness forward.

Guest post by Karen Spies. Karen is an entrepreneur and mother of two. She currently co-owns Alquemie Studios, a mobile app development shop in Boulder Colorado.

When I went to the doctor and heard that I had to have an emergency hysterectomy in 4 weeks, I was beyond panicked. I had been self-employed single mom scraping by for years- without health insurance for myself. To think that I had to submit to major surgery and be incapacitated for at least a month was terrifying. I talked with my boyfriend at the time and his suggestion was to ‘get more clients and work harder.’ Definitely that would have been the ideal, but I had already thrown my back out two times from the inflexible heavy mass in my abdomen. The thought of throwing my back out again was almost as scary as the idea of surgery.

I went home and called a friend to help me calm down. My friends’ wife got on the phone and said to me “Karen, this is no big deal. How much money do you need? $10,000? Just get 100 people to donate $100 each and you’ll be fine”. That statement was a turning point for me. I realized that I was not in combat against a huge adversary but that I really could go to my community and be cared for.

I went to the hospital to talk with the financial counselor. He was a kind man, not the emotionless accountant type that I expected. When he told me that they had a special plan for people who didn’t have insurance like myself, I was hopeful. When he told me the deposit that I had to put down to schedule the surgery, I felt pretty capable. I heard a voice in my head saying something like “that’s not too bad”. But when he told me the total amount that it was going to cost, I felt like I was falling down a well. I walked out in a daze and sat in my car for 10 minutes. I don’t remember if I was in shock or crying or both. I couldn’t believe that I had to let someone cut me open, that it was urgent and that I had to pay SO much for this horrible experience.

My mother was offended. “You are going to beg your friends for money?” she asked. “ It’s not begging!” I retorted. I explained to her that begging was what people do on a street corner when they ask strangers for a bribe to relieve themselves of discomfort in the face of poverty. I was asking people that I knew and loved, people that I had been there for- without a second thought, if they would step up and help me. Yes, I was embarrassed. Yes, it was painful. Yes and… I felt as if it was the only way to get this done. My friend (the one whose wife had suggested fundraising) spent almost his entire 2 weeks either working on the fundraiser or trying to keep my spirits up. I really believe that if I did not have his support, I would have ended up in the emergency room.

How did we decide on GiveForward? We thought of using paypal because the transaction fees were lower but the interface was SO UGLY that just looking at it seemed like a bad decision. My friend convinced me that the facebook interface and fundraising coaching was worth an extra 4%. He was right. If we had tried to cut corners and used a cheap looking site, we would not have been so successful.

The most amazing thing about my experience ( and there were many) were the comments that I got both on the GiveForward site and in person. In contrast to my mother’s opinion, I had people that I didn’t even know telling me about their similar experiences and people who had not been present in my life for over 20 years stepping up to help. People were thanking me for my vulnerability, and people told me that they were grateful that I had given them the opportunity to help. Truly it wasn’t about the money. In fact, I think that the comments that people put on the site when they made their donations were the most healing part of my whole surgery experience. To know how many people love you is an invaluable gift.

In this virtual age, sometimes we think that humanity is cold and binary. We hear the propaganda that technology is destroying community. Those naysayers don’t understand that the power of human connection is so strong that it is fostered by any communication, regardless of distance or media. They don’t understand how a Midwestern girl in Boulder Colorado had people all over the world reaching out to connect to her and support her. The ability of sites like GiveForward to mobilize community is truly a way in which we can be there for each other.

If you have a medical need, I would strongly suggest that you step forward and let people who care know what’s going on with you. Don’t let shame stop you from feeling the love that people in your life have for you. No one can feel good about helping if there isn’t anyone asking for help.

Online fundraising just got a whole lot easier with the new GiveForward Dashboard.  Here is a quick look at how the new features will make fundraising easier:

Or check out these handy videos to walk you through the new look to our dashboard.

Remember, if you ever have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact a fundraising coach at Info@GiveForward.com.

Guest post by cancer survivor Elise Silverfield May “I am a two-time cancer survivor and am determined not to let my illnesses define me.  My greatest joy is being a mom to my amazing teenage son.” 

When a friend is diagnosed with cancer, our tendency is to jump into “helper” mode. Since we can’t actually fight cancer for our friend, we want to do the next best thing: make their fight easier.

I’ve had the unique opportunity to be on both sides of this situation, as a cancer patient and a helper, and it’s given me a wonderful perspective. I know what was helpful to me, and those are the things I try to do for others. While there are numerous ways to help cancer patients, below are my suggestions for cancer support:

• An organizational calendar—If you are planning meals for a cancer patient, give them a calendar detailing which days meals will be delivered, what the meals will be and who will be bringing them. This lets your friend know what to expect and also makes writing thank you notes easier. CareCalendar.org lets people go online and indicate which needs they will be helping with such as meals, carpool, etc. Others can check the calendar to avoid duplicating efforts.
• A countdown chart—When I was first diagnosed, I made a funny chart to put on the fridge. I had circles for every treatment, and a big smiley face after the last one. Each time I finished a treatment, I marked another circle off the chart. It may seem like a small thing, but being able to see my progress really helped. I’ve done the same thing for friends, and they felt the same way. Get as creative or simple as you want. The main thing is to see that progress is being made.
• Pictures of happy times—Fighting cancer can be draining and depressing. If your friend is in the hospital, make a collage of happy pictures. This is a great reminder that life is good, and there are more happy times ahead.
• Financial assistance—Very few people will ask for monetary assistance. However, medical bills can add up quickly, even with insurance, and helping financially is one of the best ways to provide cancer patients with cancer support. Giveforward.com is a fabulous resource for helping with medical bills and other expenses. It’s easy to set up, and friends can donate any amount they choose. The last thing a cancer patient needs to worry about is the high cost of treatment. Give Forward helps alleviate that concern and lets cancer patients use their energy to fight their illness.
• Time—If you truly want to help your friend, give your time. Be there if they want to talk, cry, or scream. Offer to drive them to do errands. Help sort the laundry or clean the house. You don’t have to give expensive gifts…your time is an invaluable asset when it comes to cancer support.

Friendship and love are powerful tools and can make all the difference for cancer patients. Your friend became a survivor the day they were diagnosed. Remind them of that, always!

If you enjoyed this piece, you’ll love Elise’s other guest post “How to Help a Friend Fight Cancer” – check it out!

Assistance after a house fire can take a long time, and rarely provide adequate help.  Mark and Leslie Wharton know this far too well.  The two carpenters literally built a home together 19 years ago near Fort Collins, Colorado.

They lived there happily, kayaking, climbing and hiking, until a recent fire took their home.  ”We built it with our two hands, the two of us. So it’s more than just our house, it’s our life’s creativity.  It’s very difficult,” said Leslie.  That was when Mark and Leslie’s friends stepped in to help after the house fire and show them how much they love them.

A friend started this fundraising page to cover out-of-pocket costs due to the High Park Fire, and the Wharton’s house fire.  In just one week, they surpassed their $2,000 goal.  Meanwhile, a Facebook page was also created to continue gathering other forms of support and house fire help.

But the Whartons aren’t the only ones who lost their home to the High Park fire, which continues to burn today.  Thousands of residents have been evacuated from Larimer County canyons and over 189 homes have been destroyed.

How can you help after a house fire?  There are a few ways to offer assistance:

• Take action yourself.  Often an unexpected crisis like a hosue fire can leave people unsure of what to do next.  Asking what you can do to help won’t be as effective as you assessing the situation and assigning yourself a task.  Start small like cooking them dinner.
• For immediate needs, put together a bag of toiletries like toothbrushes, soap, shampoo, and other necessities.  Alternately, check out amazing groups like Tara’s Totes who can provide families with emergency kits after a family fire.
• Gift cards to clothing stores, restaurants, drug stores etc. are a great way to help after a house fire and can be saved for later.
•  Start a fundraising page on GiveForward for any costs assistance after a house fire that may not be covered by insurance.

These are just a few ways to help after a house fire – what do you suggest?

Today we look at How to Help a Friend With Cancer by sharing a guest post by cancer survivor Elise Silverfield May.  Elise says, “I am a two-time cancer survivor and am determined not to let my illnesses define me.  My greatest joy is being a mom to my amazing teenage son.” 

How to Help a Friend With Cancer

At some point, most of us will have a conversation with a close friend who has been diagnosed with cancer. You’ll want to be there to help, but you may not know what to do. Rest assured, there is no right or wrong way to offer support.

Of course, there are dinners to organize, carpools to arrange, and shopping to do. However, you want to do more. What would really be a big help to your friend? Lots of people say, “Just let me know what I can do.” While they mean well, most of us (myself included) have a hard time asking for help.

I have fought this dreaded disease twice and have had wonderful support from friends both times. While I appreciated everything, there were a couple of things that really meant a lot.

While in the hospital, my girlfriends brought me a gift bag filled with scented lotion, fluffy socks, disposable toothbrushes, lip balm, and more. While one friend brushed my hair, another massaged my hands and feet with the lotion and painted my nails. It really is true that when you look good, you feel better. Bringing that little bit of comfort and femininity to the hospital really raised my spirits.

Probably the most amazing thing my friends did for me was to start a fundraiser on GiveForward.com. Even though I have insurance, the out of pocket expenses were staggering. Knowing I would never ask, my friends took it upon themselves to help with my medical bills.

GiveForward accepts donations of any amount, and every dollar adds up. My friends sent out mass emails and posted on social
media to educate people about their goal. They made the effort creative by doing things such as asking people to skip their daily cup of Starbucks and donate that money instead. I was beyond touched by the outpouring of support I received, I was slightly upset when I first learned of the fundraiser, but I quickly realized that I would do the exact same thing for any of my friends if the situation were
reversed.

Most people never think of the financial strain a cancer diagnosis brings. GiveForward is a great way for others to help lessen than burden, Even if they can’t donate money, people can log on, give a “hug,” and share supporting thoughts. I am grateful beyond words for the generosity I was shown, and I hope I can one day return the favor.

Whether you provide comfort in the hospital, monetary support, or something else, the main thing is to support your friend. From the day she was diagnosed, she became a SURVIVOR. Remind her of this on the tough days, and celebrate with her on the good days. Your friendship, love, and support will truly be a blessing.

For more ideas on how to help a friend with cancer, click here.

Yesterday, we met an amazing little guy named ‘Lou.  ’Lou is 4 & 1/2 years old, and has 4 big siblings who look out for him.  Sometimes ‘Lou needs someone to help him, especially when he is eating.

‘Lou was born with with severe food allergies, and it makes eating very difficult (and expensive, click here to donate).  But he doesn’t let it get him down:

But here at GiveForward, our favorite part of meeting ‘Lou was getting a chance to see the awesome videos that he makes.   Watch how he crosses the street:

Of course, we decided that ‘Lou’s strategy for crossing the street was pretty ingenious and quite important for safety – if cars can’t see you, at least they’ll hear you!  So GiveForward immediately adopted the strategy ourselves:

 
Luckily, ‘Lou approves of our street crossing:

Want to see more from ‘Lou or donate to help him get to Denver for treatment? Check out his fundraising page here.  You can also leave him a “hug” and let him know how YOU cross the street.